Friday, April 8, 2011

They say that in the army...

The army's been making its rounds on the news lately. Nope. Not because we were the number one to respond to the Tsunami in Japan but because...

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This infamous picture has been making its round all over the internet and its spawning spoofed advertisements and posters. (Check the article here) I could spend all day making fun of it but lets cut the rich brat some slack. He's been flamed nearly to death. He has since owned up and apologized because he couldn't take the pressure. I guess he thought the army was going to send him to the UN Peacekeeping Corps to toughen him up if they found out. Actually the army taught us one important rule: Do anything you want but don't get caught. Tough luck kid. If there was no sneaky bastard leopard crawling behind you and taking the shot, your maid could still be in the army.

After looking at the picture, I thought, 'Wow, luckily I'm still wearing the old army uniform. Makes me look like a lao jiao! My reputation as an ex-soldier is still intact!'. I spoke too soon...


The lao jiao chu pattern make us look like kuku jiao (Read it here). As a fashion statement... Honestly, it doesn't look hip. It doesn't look cool. It looks like cock! I don't really have any pride to say that I used to serve in the Singapore army anymore...

As if it wasn't enough that the army was having a bad field trip in the media camp, another soldier gets in some trouble after his girlfriend's pops and uncle bashed him up. By the way, his girlfriend is jail bait. Meaning he will go to jail if he 'plays golf and putts the ball into the hole'. Let's not go into the relationship thing and look at something else. The situation is kind of funny/weird if you think about it. Your girlfriend's dad and uncle bashes you up and you report them to the police. They're definitely going to jail. How are you going to face your girlfriend after that? Obviously its the father's fault for bashing him up but the whole scenario is kind of dramatic, isn't it?

GF: Errr... Honey, Can you not send my dad and uncle to jail? He's my dad you know?

BF: Ummm... You're aware right? They kop my phone, kidnapped me to a cemetery, gave me a 'blanket party' then posed as dead Japanese soldiers and threatened to cut my balls off with a samurai sword. Okay I made up the last part but they still threatened to 'BANKAI!' me with the sword...

GF: Yeah, I know. But he's my dad and he treated you to go K-box and sing song right? I heard you had K Lunch and sang a lot of Eason Chan and Jordan Chan songs. Please... For old time's sake?

BF: But I nearly died! Besides, I only sang 2 songs. Your uncle and his pals sang all the Chen Lei stuff while your dad kept coaxing me to drop the charges. I didn't even get to eat the lunch set!!! I AM HUNGY! AND I AM ANGRY!!! RARRRRRR!!!

GF: I think I might want to sue you... I'm jail bait, remember?

BF: WHAT!?

Alright. All that is total nonsense but thats the drama of life. Anyways, just to clarify, though I'm not a big fan of the army, I'm still quite proud to have served it. Things will blow over and hopefully the army work on better advertising to boost their image and reputation. Peace out.

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